I’m ready… but Fate isn’t

pretty long entry for today, hope you wont feel lazy. 🙂

I was diagnosed last March and got a quite low cd4 count of 282, it’s been months now and yet im not taking any arv’s. I don’t know but im not ready yet or maybe it just so happen that there’s not much happening in my body now so i dont feel the urge and need of taking it…

Mid April, my furuncolosis recurred for the nth time. not really severe but a couple of nodules.. like 2-4. at the same time, i had something.. (im shy to disclose, haha) so I went to RITM to have it checked and they gave me ample Azithromycins and TMP-SMXs (co-trimaxazole) to cover these ailments. I promised myself that after these wounds have healed, i’ll take my arv’s na. Days turned into weeks and my wounds were healed, so I targeted a schedule to go back to RITM for the arv prescription. The next day, the morning of my scheduled task, my throat is aching and im having a low-grade fever, i knew for myself that this is tonsillitis but i ignored it and went to RITM… As the doctor and i were talking and she almost handed over the prescription paper, i uttered my complain about my throat, she checked my mouth and saw these very large tonsils! she said…

uh, uh! hindi ka muna mag arv.. gamutin na muna natin yan!

as she pulls away the paper.. sigh! hawak ko na!!!!
then she gave me co-amoxiclav.

ok fine…

Ailments were gone, my birthday’s coming so i decided for myself that i’ll be taking arv’s after my special day.. of course, it’s like a rebirth. for the past 23 years of my life im not taking any lifetime medication, so i’ll do this on my 24th year.. i hope this makes sense.

Ok, im already 24, days have passed after my birthday and here we go, as scheduled, I went to RITM today to my arv prescription. I arrived at around 3pm, as expected.. no patients. almost zero visibility. Most of the OPD customer are in the morning. Ate Ana said I can wait in the lounge as there’s a miniature line waiting, as I went to the lounge i saw Shola, what a nice way to start my visit today. Not much people in the lounge, just one sleep guy and a new friend i’ve met during my first visit. so there’s no one really to share things out and i decided wowowee na lang. Ate Ana called me and it’s my turn… I was surprised coz Dra. Ditangco was there, it means that she will be the one assessing me.. we talked about getting my first arv’s, but again i uttered another complaint, my chest is aching and i’m producing grayish sputum. She assessed my condition and decided that i take another sputum test and chest xray. Not again!!! postponed nanaman ag arv’s ko.. ok, let’s get this done so next week i’ll have everything set into place.

I went into the xray room and the technician took my chest image, he was nice, he also greeted me happy birthday.. thanks kuya! i had a sneak peak on the developed film and i saw whitish marks on my chest. OMG what is this!!?? i know it could be either TB or pneumonia… No way!
well, i have to wait for the sputum test results… the only im bothered is, my company will be having it’s annual physical exam and they might see that my chest’s having problems… hmmm,

PLAN A – expedite everything. first day of the week next week, i’ll submit my specimens and check my xray, ask for medications so the week after next week, it may be cleared. and go with the APE as scheduled.

PLAN B – still expedite everything, just like plan A BUT delay my APE and have it 2 weeks after the scheduled one. hmmmm.. i think this is best! 😀

going back to Dra. Ditangco, in fairness, she’s nice.. my impression of her way before i first saw her was she’s masungit and may attitude.. but not, she’s indeed nice.

I left RITM with a mixture of Stress – coz of the xray i saw and Happiness – i was able to meet Dra. Ditangco for the first time and of course met my friends.
I went to a big mall in Ortigas to have a massage, stressed eh.. so i hovered over a spa center and took an hour massage.. i think im fulfilled. i guess… 😀 Took dinner and went home…

I really wanted to start arv’s , but fate wont allow me… i wonder why?


Author: The Chemistry Guy

HIV positive est 2010 Introvert, wanderlust, Science guy and tech junkie. email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com

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