Paradigm Shift

It’s totally over. Closed book between me and Ma.

… and now, Paradigm Shift. A change of mind. Of what you used to.

Weekend is so silent. My phone is not ringing, almost no new messages.

No one to talk to, every break-up ganito lagi ang set up.

Well, I’m used to it. Maybe this is a great time to give time for myself again.

But somehow, no bitterness. Hindi ako galit. Good thing.

Agenda for today:

1. work my arms out, its been several weeks since I jolted my biceps and triceps.
2. shop. Zara stores are on Sale!
3. Watch movie. Marathon maybe.
4. Dine out to a resto that I haven’t tried.
5. allot time for unexpected plans.

Weather: Cloudy, seems it’s going to rain hard.

Dilemma: how can I do my agendas with this kind of weather. crap!

Solution: Just push with it.

Result: Satisfied and peaceful being.. chos! haha

Ta!

Twice Blended

Dizziness and headaches are slowly subsiding.. slowly.
Though there are still some signs which I tend not to tolerate it, kaya pa naman.

Anyway, I’m here in Starbucks wasting my 3-hours allowance time doing nothing. See, instead of me lying down in bed, I’m here wasting my time on my laptop.

Nothing much from the past weekend to talk about, just a dine out and a movie date with friends.

Oh, there’s the malanding barista. I was falling in line anticipating if I’ll get a coffee or a cream based frap, he asked for my drink..

One venti, mocha frap, twice blended without whip for XXXXXX!

Shocked, bakit nya alam name ko? hindi naman nakasabit ang i.d ko so for sure hindi nya nakita name ko.. Until now, im still wondering how in the world he did that. I know he’s gay, obvious naman.

I’m still dizzy, puro na lang dizziness.. Im being unproductive coz of this. Wala na ko masyado nagagawa.

Just an update: Ma and I ended it up na. Though nagpaparamdam paren sya. Well, bahala na. Basta ang alam ko, I’m free and I can do anything I want. πŸ˜€

Ta!

Flirting Space

I just noticed today, I’ve got a few grammatical and typographical errors. Tsk. I’m using my phone kasi to make a blog. My apologies.

I’m getting over my dizziness side effect slowly.

I think the connection between me and Ma is over. I feel no more, this is getting bland. If he just stick to his head what he said to me before..

You know what, ikaw yung type na love or hate lang

True indeed! Maybe it’s a manisfestation of my astrological sign but I can atest to it.

Stress comes within me and now depression starts to sink in… Again.
I can tell coz of sudden emotional bursts. Need to regain my self-composure with my ipod.

I’m now here in the salon having a haircut and I can’t believe that the guy assisting me is so horribly cute. He’s P. Fuck and he’s massaging me right now. Grrr. Ano ba?! Although he’s bansot, he’s so cute. Teehee. That’s why I really love going back to this gigolo-like assistant infested salon.

I just can’t help myself looking at him..
There are a lot cute guys in this world, it’s just a matter of appreciation.

Him: Sir, ang lalim ng iniisip nyo? Ano problema?
Me: Wala, may kamuka ka lang kasi….

Grabe ang landi ko talaga.

After this landi moments, am gonna go back home and take some rest then meet my friend.

Enough off emotional stress..

Ta!

Getting Dizzy

I went to RITM last Tuesday to wave goodby to my Nevirapine and say hello to Efavirenz. I went to the OPD clinic and stumbled upon my entrance is Ar, my one of my crush, Ar, as you can remember from the Self-Empowerment seminar. The so suplado, quiet and mataray guy. He still looks good and have a great built. Sorry, pero hindi ko siya pinapansin kasi I felt really awkward and I knew for myself na susupladuhan lang nya ko just like what he did before. So, hanggang tingin na lang. A guy then saved me from awkwardness and gave me a little chit chat, he’s R. Got a cd4 count of 2 and got some illness. There’s a guy by the corner and I can see on my peripheral vision that he’s staring at me. I was curious so I took the seat in front of him. He’s R. A newly diagnosed guy and will commence his arv treatment the same day as to my Efavirenz. magka tukayo sila ni earlier R. So to avoid confusion, let’s name the earlier R as R-cd4-2 and this R as R-arv. He’s still staring and I felt na kinikilala nya ko. So am I, he’s kinda cute, good moreno tone and got braces! He’s familiar… Really familiar!

He’s on his way to the pharmacy to have his arv’s. I rushed towards him at sinabayan ko sya sa window, we gave our booklets and prescriptions and while waiting for the meds, we finally got the chance to talk.

Him, ‘kelan ka na diagnose?’
Me, ‘March of this year ako, ikaw?’
Him, ‘bago lang ako, May. You what familiar ka’
Me, ‘yeah! Familiar ka din, nagmeet na ba tayo?’
Him, ‘yes, i think so… Db you’re into photography?’

shocks, kinabahan na ko. Kilala nya talaga ako.

Finally. Puzzle solved.
A night stand guy from the past.

Shet! I felt guilty, ako kaya nakahawa sakanya? the scenes were still fresh, we did it safely. He got a cd4 of the same amount as minde, around 280+. I told Ate Ana about it and she said na wag ka mag worry. For sure hindi ako ang nakahawa at sa iba nya nakuha kasi mababa na din cd4 nya. wag ng magsisihan.

Yeah, she’s right. Enough. We can’t do anything about it. Lets’ move forward.

He went home and I went to the lounge. Tambay lang. Palipas ng oras. Saw some old friends and made chikas.

Now, Im taking Efavirenz. What the heck! Ang lakas ng tama. The morning after I took
it, it really made me felt dizzy and out of myself. Feeling may lagnat at biglang bumangon. That’s the exact way to describe it. So far no vivid dreams, and I am getting ready for it. Hahaha, browsing through some Enchong Dee photos eh.. Grrr naughty!

2nd day, lesser effect. I had 8hrs sleep and it’s a bit tolerable. Super menthol candies does the trick.

Gawd! Pls spare me from these..

Im getting dizzy nanaman.

Ta!

Monday’s In between

I’m sooo effin’ tired… Again, one of the side effects of Nevirapine. I’m sleepy the whole day. Am here in the office doing nothing, then why not make blog post? Good thing my phone supports MS Word so I can just upload through usb then copy and paste.

Ok, nothing much to say on a Monday. A bit loaded shift but was so manageable that I have extra 2 hours to spare with. Im on my iPod and listening to Lady Gaga’s Pokerface. So gay right? Listening to her on an office setting. Anyway, I’m just waiting in vain for our shift to end.

Nothing to talk much on a Monday, then let’s bother yesterday’s events. Sunday, a small company event was held in Metrowalk. Prior to the event I was planning of dropping by either Shangrila – to check or might even buy some stuffs from Zara, hey they’re on sale! Or Megamall – to have a haircut. Well I did jump to Megamall but went to Subway coz Of my sandwhich craving.

On to Metrowalk, met new friends and saw some cuties. Went dinner, videoke, billiards and chit chat over coffee. Well, another pretty experience indeed.

I’m still sleepy. Took hot cup noodles and chips to satisfy my salt taste buds. Sipped coffee, somehow baka mawala mga hikab ko. Still! I tried calculating till when I’ll suffer this condition..

Here goes my self-proclaimed calculation,
I ask Wikipedia about Nevirapine’s half life. Half-life is a chemical term that denotes the time at which a substance loses half of its concentration. NVP’s half-life is 45 hours and I took 4 of them so around 15days?

Enough of those.. Tuesday is set for RITM. Gonna get those Efavirenz in exchange of NVP. Will see good friends again.. Hopefully I can have the chance to meet someone new naman. πŸ˜›

By the way, I’m missing Ma. Well, he himself but not his pesky paranoia and untrustfulness. gosh, is there such a word untrustfulness? Lols.

Let’s see what will happen next. I still don’t text him. Huh!

Ta!

Rain Rain Go Away

Sunday, planned to go with D and K. Unfortunately, D has fever.. boo! K. I think is not yet awake and he’s not replying. It’s already 4pm and I don’t wanna waste my time inside this boring room.
It’s raining hard and I decided to let it pass before I go out of the house. I was browsing some blogs, online in PlanetRomeo, Facebook and other personal sites. Wala lang, juat to keep myself busy for the meantime. Tomorrow is another Monday, Another busy week off. Sheesh.

Ma, is not texting. I miss him a bit, but to render his lesson and realization I opted not to text or talk to him. Hayaan ko muna. Well for sure if I did, magaaway ulit kami.

It’s the 5th day of my Acyclovir, my opportunistic infection is gone. I have 4 tabs left and I’m gonna miss this. It’s like candy, the texture and the taste. It’s not the usual medicine that taste like hell. Well. Thanks Acyclovir! no more 5x/day for 5days πŸ˜€

I took photos of the ARV’s .. boredom really kills. πŸ˜€

I’ll be preparing myself in a bit.
Have questions? Just give me a holler!

Ta!

Weekend Bail Out

Since it’s a weekend, let’s set aside the stresses…

Saturday and I can’t believe that I am a loser. I usually go out of towns, dine out, play sports, challenge Timezone Tekken 6 hotties, pig out and go food tripping, watch movie or any outdoor activity. Outdoor ok, meaning… not inside the house. But what now? I’m in my bed with my laptop connected to my wifi and doing nothing.. such a loser. It seems that my friends are too busy or me being too lazy to invite them on a date out.

Well, to start if off.. I’m having fever! not really high-grade. just feverish feeling with chills and a bit headache resembling a true fever.. wow, that’s a lot of the word “fever”. This is one of the main side effect of Nevirapine, the dreaded and frightful ARV since it can splash you out with rashes making you ugly or maybe uglier. πŸ™‚ Good thing my body reacted with fever and not with rashes. Whew! So I have to stop taking it. But of course, I need to continuously take Lamivudine + Zidovudine. I texted D regarding this since he has the first line experience with this kind. haha and yeah he said to stop taking it. Ate Ana asked me to drop by RITM on Tuesday, I’m gonna redeem Efavirenz in exchange of Nevirapine. Hmmm, another dreadful ARV. I wonder how does it feel to have this “vivid dreams” side effect with Efavirenz.

Since am not doing anything, I tried researching the ARV’s. As I skim and scan Wikipedia, I felt something really dramatic.. I’m missing Organic Chemistry!!! Missing the old days.. I took 2 Organic Chemistry classes and I did enjoy the curriculum. How to name the organic compound, how to synthesize the compound, what reagents to be used and yada yada yada.. I know it may sound geek and too schoolish.

It’s quite surprising that there are some “non-reactive” to gp41 and gp120 guys reading my blog.
gp41 and gp120 are the proteins found on the outer layer of the morons. Hmmm, maybe i’ll have a quick rundown of my knowledge on this stuff. It’s quite alarming that even those “reactive” or HIV + guys don’t or have a limited background regarding some stuffs. I have a pos friend and he doesn’t know what is Azithromycin for. Wow.

Wants some lesson? πŸ™‚

Sunday’s plan is already alloted. Gonna go out with D and K. Might watch Inception and dine out. I don’t know, It’s up to them.

Somebody messaged me on my “positive-account” in Planet Romeo, he wanted us to be friends. Ok, no problem. We can try. We talked about the usual stuffs and it came to a point that he shared his photo. He’s cute, i can feel he’s Chinese and doesn’t know how to speak the native tongue. I’m still doubtful of giving mine since, of course, my identity and I’m scared of humiliation. It seems he’s naive to HIV and really wants to know more about it. Well, he got me.. I gave my “normal-account” and saw my photos.. and then all of a sudden he’s talking like an expert. He even asked if I know Ate Ana, Shola, Ate Ellen and the rest of the gang in RITM. I was really surprised, why and how in the world you know them.. “By the way im not HIV +”, he said. So how come? I got bothered with him and never replied to any of his queries. Then, minutes after.. He sent another message.. “Let’s have sex!” . Hmmm, suspicious.. I wanna block him but it might trigger something so I just ignored him. Tsk, Sayang.. He’s so hot pa naman. :))

And now, I’m looking for mates to talk to.. It seems that everybody is busy on their gimiks.

Ta!