I just remember, I posted my blog URL to my pseudo-account in a personal gay site. And many guys from there sends me messages regarding them reading my entries. Hmmm, so I’m now pressured on what to post. Let it be personal or opinion-based posts. Whatever, As long as I express myself using this medium. I really don’t care. I don’t usually talk to people about personal life. It’s not I’m not a sociable person, it’s like I just hate and trying to avoid awkward moments. When I share my stuffs personally, that’s already awkwardness.
I skipped one intake of Efavirenz. Sorry. 😦 my bad. I had too. I’m on a social gathering and need to be in tip top condition. I don’t want myself to be in syncope just because of my dizziness and neurological side effect. Besides, I might have another vivid dream. Hmmm.. and took some amounts of alcohol. This might be the last. I will find a way on how to deal with late night gatherings and taking Efavirenz at the same time.
I also skipped one intake of Combivir, eehh.. My bad, again. My phone alarmed and I was playing Plants vs Zombies. “later, when all the zombies have died”. grrr… time passed when I’m addicted to it and let my meds go away. Sorry again.
After a month or so of suffering from the side effects of Efavirenz, I’m now on the road again of lifting some weights.
Since a lot of people try to rad my blogs and ask on my pseudo-account in the gay social site. I might try to let them know about my story. I try to think of a way on how to do this. For the mean time, lets talk! 🙂
Sunday. I hate it. You know for a fact that when you wake up the next day.. Monday.
It’s time for work, 2 days is not really enough for me. Maybe I’m getting to used with what I am doing. It’s too monotonous. I need to add color to it.
I met someone over the cyberspace. Well, we didn’t meet yet. The odd thing about it is, we’re officemates. He calls every now and then. I haven’t seen his physical appearance but based on the photos he sent me, i think he looks cute and decent. Braces guy, small earring. He i go again, attaching myself to someone and when the time comes, it’s me who losses. We’re still on the talking+getting to know phase.
The catch here is, ok fine. Maybe we’re on to each other but what will happen if I confess to him my sero-status. What will he do if he found out that i’m HIV positive. Geesh. 2 things might happen, or will surely happen.
1. You and Me against the world (the dreaded Magnetic relationship) again… but this time, I made sure that I’m not an option.
2. Scram! go away..
Number 2 is the risk, number 1 is the happy side of it.
Just like what i said, I’ll hold on to my philosophy.
I’d rather cry every night than to be on an irrational relationship.
I’ll never be a desperate retard.
Saturday. I met a good friend of mine. He’s D. He knows that I’m HIV positive. It was really intentional for me to tell him, It was just a case of saving something irrational why I told confessed my sero-status. He used to be a date of mine last year. It didn’t work since I was already diagnosed and decided not to push with it. We’re really good friends. We even date out together fortnightly. It seemed that he proved to me that what ever sero-status I have, We can be good friends. I was drinking my favorite milk-tea frap when he grabbed it and took a sip on it.
As he’s sipping my drink, “hmmm, this taste good!”. It was a delightful moment for me.
After dining out and seeing a movie we decided to part ways. He always drops me off to the best place I can get another cab or puv.
It’s already 130am. Cabs are damn choosy so I waited for puv’s. There’s one but it’s still loading and waiting for passengers. I stood as if was waiting and hoping for another one to pass by, saving my time. Then all of a sudden, there’s a guy beside me. Wearing long sleeves, a bit loose fit pants, clean cut and sneakers. Ok, no big deal. He’s just an average guy for me. A rate of 6/10 perhaps. To my peripheral vision, I can see that’s he’s staring at me. Out of consciousness, I tried to stare back. I now feel that he’s into me. He moved closer and closer, “Is there a straight way going south?” Aha! first move.. Just like what I thought. “Yes, the same puv that I will ride on to”. Minutes after, he was bugging his mobile phone. I think he wants to get my number. I moved a bit further since it was an awkward feeling. He’s even touching my shoes with his. Hmmm, I think he wants something.
I decided to get on the puv and wait. When it was about to depart, he went inside and still staring at me. Hmmm…
Just like what I said, I’m choosy. I’m not a desperate retard. Maybe you’re into me, but I’m not. Sorry. Though I think he’s nice enough. The scene ended with nothing. Just teasers and stares. not much interesting happened afterwards. I may sound rude. I’m not. It’s just a collaborative and integrated experiences from the past. I learned too much. 🙂
Hope to see him again, and tease him again, Sometime..
He’s the 3rd person ever in my gayhood life to approach me. I admit, I’m really snobbish and aloof. But for sure, when you know me. First impressions won’t really last. 🙂
I bought a book at a nearby bookstore, trying to be a book worm.. I bought one for 45 pesos. Quite Cheap.
Then I decided to splurge myself again with Salt and Ketchup.. I bought my Cheeseburger and Large Fries. Of course, add to it the tons and tons of salt and the red thingy.
I was reading the book I bought when a guy caught my attention.
I never thought perfection can be seen. Nice and clean hair cut, average height of 5’8, the yuppy looking appeal, clear skin, perfect chinky eyes!, great sense of fashion (I remember his red/black Fred Perry duffle bag), hot fitting long sleeve on his nice chest and biceps.. hay. Jaw dropping.
I was on my iPod and tried to stare at him. We met in the eye 2 times. OMFG! star struck!
I placed my bag on the table so there would be a something that blocks our sight.
It seemed he noticed that I’m staring at him.. He sat near me. (Me, facing northwards. Him facing southwards) He’s on my 11oclock position. Grrr..
He was eating Chicken Nuggets and Rice. It shows that he doesn’t have a big appetite since, he eats slowly. Adding to it, the small regular sized meal compared to mine. Large!
There’s nothing much happened afterwards. I know that he knows that I’m into him. Too bad. I know for myself that a kind like him won’t approach me. Oh well. Just another fairy tale.
Now, I have an addition to my crush list. 🙂
I may sound conceited, but I’m not. 🙂
Guys are acting up really weird nowadays.
I’m wasting my spare time here in Starbucks together with my Iced tea and Sausage Roll. Good thing I have my laptop with me so I can be more interactive.
The other night, a foreigner friend of mine who’s based here in the country messaged me through my dummy account in Planet Romeo. The dummy account was intended for HIV-related purposes. Cutting the story short, since we didn’t really made too much interesting stories, He said that HIV is a condition for hot and rich guys. Why so? He said he have friends who is also HIV-positive that are too hot to handle and almost everybody wants them. Fine. Stereotyping? lols.
Speaking of foreigners, there are 2 hot guys here sitting in front of me.
1 table apart, both are studying and writing and on laptop as well. What’s with them? Both are also nail-biting. Weird. One Korean-type and another Euro-guy. I’ll just feast my eyes on them.
I had a prominent vivid dream last night. I don’t wanna make further discussion about it. It’s hilarious. It’s not about the dream but what happened on me while dreaming. It’s so childish! hahah. That’s already a clue. For sure it happened to you when you were a small kid. Gosh. Needed to change the sheets. 😀
I’m losing concentration. Another side effect of Efavirenz. I need to but a blue-ink pen. Studies show that using blue-inked pens will stimulate the brain making you more focused.
I mentioned in my previous post that me and my beloved “ex” is working under the same roof.
Yes, we’re office mates. Been with the company for 2years now and he’s new, 3 months or so. I said to him to work here since the grasses here are really greener. (California Gurls?) lols.
He entrusted me his belongings including money. I still treasure that. He still trusts me.
His shift is early morning and I’m on the mid. When he’s about to clock out, it’s my clock in.
One day, he asked for his entrusted money and said to meet in the fire exit. We’re just 1 floor away. Fire exit, hmm. I know what you are thinking. I never did that. I gave him his money and surprisingly he a box of cupcakes with icings and toppings were seen.
How sweet. The cup cakes were yummmy.
Will he still be that way if he knew I’m positive. I don’t think so.
Well. So far, we’re friends/officemates. That’s it.
No expectations or anything.
Last week I went to the other office’s building site for a company activity.
Call time was 1pm. I took lunch by 12pm and went my ass on the building. Of course, Filipino time.. a 1pm meeting will start 3pm. Even worst, we started 6pm. WTF. Whole day affair.
The team decided for a late lunch and took their cigs at the the smoking area. I’m not a smoker. So I just stand by my feet and listen to their stories. Several meters facing my direction is a cutie, I think with his smoking buddy. My peripheral vision says he’s staring at me.. I tried to looking at him but i’m too shy.. haha. Done with smoking and parted ways.. ok. Another same old story.
1 week after… a cute guy added me to be his friend in Facebook. I just typically add coz I simply don’t care. what do I have to lose if I add strangers, besides it’s a social networking site. Of course, the mere fact that he’s cute. So I confirmed his request.
Days after, He messaged me..
hey, I saw you last week in XXXX (name of the building)
Oh fuck.. it’s him. 😀
We talked some things and we have something in common.
a. he’s also into volleyball
b. he’s just nearby.. we’re both from the south.
c. we have common elementary and high school classmates
He works for an oil petrol company. It shows intelligence. 🙂
but upon scrutinizing his Facebook page, He’s in a relationship!
BOO!!! arrghh… hmmm. Let’s see what will happen next, 🙂