More than a 3rd wheel

I went on an eyeball-date from a guy I met in Planet Romeo, we were exchanging sms for the past 1 week, almost every hour and every minute… how enthusiastic, right?

He then decided to meet on our common free time, Weekend. The time and day came, we were about to meet around dinner time. Prior to that, he asked if we can watch a movie.. why not! We then watched a movie and then kicked our asses to a resto for a dinner.

Lucky13 even saw me and urgently called to let me know that i’m such a snob passing him by.
He made me laugh when he said to continue my dinner date with this fugly guy. Well, I admit it.. I think I was a victim of photo manipulation and deceived with so perfect poses. Not really a big thing, I’m already here and I got nothing to lose, so just stay and be nice … Still.

Minutes after, he asked..

“Is it ok that a friend of mine will join us?”

..I was in the state of shock, I asked myself.. why? Ok, then be it.. Let your friend join us.

Let us call this friend of his as GUY X.

GUY X arrived.. he damn cute. cute based on my subjective mind. Chinito, average height, I think he’s into gym since he has nice biceps and pecs and wears glasses. Jaw dropping indeed.

Using my peripheral vision, I try to stare at him and he’s becoming familiar.. I know this guy. I saw him somewhere. I just don’t know where.. Listening to stories and get-to-know questions revealed the answer, he’s a former colleague. Shocks, Just like what I thought the moment I first saw him, He’s gay. Ok, glaciers of ice were broken.. Natural flow of conversation came up. We were enjoying the dinner and it seems that there’s no more awkwardness..

It was a turn off for my date though. Why the hell he did that? Prior to that, he was so busy texting.. maybe I am not his type. Well, to begin with I don’t like him too. QUITS.

Done with dinner and off to the nearest coffee shop. Settled down and ordered some hot drink to let our tummy calm down, Minutes later… He called in another friend, GUY Y. He was a bit tall, cute and of light aura. He’s nice.

We were on the table making stories and getting to know each other when another friend came by.. GUY Z! fuck this crap… this is getting really awkward. To be brutally honest, I’m one of the most challenged person when it comes to this certain situation. I am not really a socially inclined person. I just sit down, keep quiet and observe.. GUY Z is quite overwhelming which made the awkwardness really severe. what I can say is that they were nice, they did not let me be out of place.. but still, I was really caught off guarded. Well another lesson learned. Not really though, it isn’t my first time.. Hindi na ko natuto.

We parted ways and for sure, they’re talking about me. Who cares.

Ta!

Repeat and no Shuffle

I was in the office, mood swings struck…
Only one song played my ipod the whole day.

Stacie Orrico’s There’s gonna be more to Life.

I’ve got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I’m emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I’m missing
And why can’t I let go

There’s gotta be more to life…
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I’m…
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it’s life, but I’m sure… there’s gotta be more
Than wanting more

I’ve got the time and I’m wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I’m half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I’m searching for something that’s missing

Where are the people when you need them…

I’m a gamer

It’s weekend and I promised to treat myself after some stressful events, works and compromises. I went to see one of my favorite movies, Resident Evil: Afterlife. I waited for 2 years just to see this film, I remember way back 2002 roughly 8 years ago, when I was still non-reactive, I used to be a gamer, yes, a gamer, not fooling around but a game freak. A playstation guy. Timezone freak.

A sumptuous fireworks dinner along San Miguel by the Bay opened the night for me. A large, more than a quarter pound rib from Friday’s bought my tummy. Speaking of Friday’s, I have a new crush. It’s one of their waiters.. He’s so cute, the chinito look over toned and mestizo look. Aw! he’s more delicioso than what I am eating. He doesn’t have a name tag so I don’t know his name.. but being persevere, despite of a loud boom box beside me, I heard the manager called him.. haha, his J – just like a name of a saint. hmmmm.. :)) I’m looking forward for another Friday’s pig out, good thing I have a frequent visitor card. 🙂

I was by myself and fate is really giving me a sight of what is having a boyfriend is.. for that night only, I saw 3 pairs of guys holding hands together. Though it may sound like a taboo here in the country, hey they’re still doing it in public. hmmm.. ganun? well, I saw a bunch of dating bf’s. I even saw my former classmate with his boyfriend, and to my surprise.. his boyfriend is the one whom I mentioned in my previous post, the guy who saw me somewhere and added me to his facebook and saw that he’s in a relationship. damn. haha

As a normal rational being, being alone began to sink in.. but that’s ok. anyone in this world will surely feel that they are.

Anyway. The night was so-so.

Ta.

Turn me off

Well. We all have one or maybe even several right? It would depend on our history of dating and wants. Let’s try to sort it

out.. I’m not being superficial but these are just the collective and integrated means of my gayhood. 🙂

In random order.

1. A guy who doesn’t know what he wants.
Scenario. Let’s say on a first date.

Me: Where do you wanna eat? Pizza, Pasta, rice or anything you have in mind?
Him: it’s up to you.
Me: …. like where???
Him: anywhere? Where do you want?

To my mind, Me: I’m asking you then you’re asking me… Ditched!

– It shows immaturity. Indecisiveness. Poor decision making. Giving the benefit of the doubt, maybe he’s just concerned on

me being choosy where to eat. But hello! That’s why I’m asking so we could have a mutual decision. Right?

2. A guy who’s too cheesy when in fact we met online.
Scenario. We chatted online and exchanged numbers.

Day1, the usual conversation and getting to know questions.
Day2, talk talk and talk. The whole day.
Day3, Now he’s throwing messages like…
“i miss you”, “im happy talking to you”, “i think im falling for you” and the like..

It shows unstable emotions. Easily gets bored on something.
Benefit of the doubt: Infatuation perhaps? that’s too much, we haven’t met yet then you’re acting such? hmmm.. not really

my thing.

3. The free rider.
Scenario. On a first time date.

Him: Which movie do you like to watch? A or B?
Me: I haven’t seen A!!! I saw B last week and it’s not really good.
Him: Ok! Your treat eh?!

Ditched. Hay. User. Blood sucker.
Benefit of the doubt: Maybe he’s testing the waters.

4. The Beautiful Liar.
Scenario. On Succeeding dates.

Me: Are you dating someone now aside from me? or perhaps even a present boyfriend on the brink of breaking up?
Him: Of course none! Been single for the longest time now.
Me: oh i see. that’s nice.
Him: (His phone got a message)
Me: (to eager to be chismoso, tried to take a sneak peak who that was)

On his phone: Baby. Honey. Beb.

To my mind. Haha huli ka!

5. Malcontented guy.
Scenario. Dating for couple of months.

Me: do you still meet guys online or something like that?
Him: of course not. we’ve been dating for quite sometime now.
Me: sweet. (chos!)

days after, my friend texted.

Friend: Hey, I saw your date online and chatting. He’s looking for seb’s. He even invited me over to his pad!
Me: wow. you sure?
Friend: yes!
Me: hmmm, let’s set him up.

Bingo! Ditched.
Benefit of the doubt: none.

This post is purely based on experience, facts and opinions.
Any comments, reations and violent reactions? Just give me a holler.

Ta!

Been a long time

To keep you posted, these were some of the events while I was out.

1. Went to Boracay, a delightful sight seeing of the hunks and gals. Koreans and Europeans.
Met some new friends. It was indeed great and fun. Nice waters and fine white sands. Too many foreigners, great bodies and food. An ultimate beach bumming experience. Might go for 2nd time there.

2. Went to RITM for a quick refill of my medications. Good for 3months. The staffs were asking How am I going with Ma.

I said. “HUH?! It was long ago since we break up… Sila na ni D!”

Them: Shocked. Hekhekhek. Expectedly!

Ma and D’s relationship is giving me goosebumps! puhhlease..

I thought September was my 2nd cd4 count, but no! Next will be on January. It will count the moment you start taking the ARV’s. I started July, so + 6months = January.
Hmmm, I hope it will jump from 282 to 500+.

3. Talking about ARV. I’m quite doing good with Efavirenz. Though a stint of headaches and dizziness, it’s still manageable.

4. Ate Ana asked for permission if she can give my number to a newbie from Makati Medical Center. Of course, without hesitation, I said yes. But until now, no one’s texting me.

5. Speaking of text. Literally, no one’s texting me. It makes me sad. The old group messages like Good morning or Good afternoon and even Sweet evening are ringing my phone. It’s quite annoying coz you know it was “sent to many” not even personalized.
6. Sadly, my ex, the more than a year relationship guy, the only guy I consider my true relationship has a new bf. Tsss. and he even hides it from me! it hurts but, there’s no way but forward.

“don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back” – Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream

Leche! bitter kung bitter! he just have to make sure that his “new” guy is way better than I did. yes, I DID. He must be taller than me, got more nice eyes – like a blue-eyed one! better built and better skin tone! hmp!

7. I’m planning to date myself this coming weekend. I want to watch Resident Evil – Afterlife.
Synonymous to what I have now, I’m technically dead, the moment HIV entered my body. Dead!
Just surviving my everyday life and trying to be more productive and be more nice. Well on the brighter side, It seems that I’m longing for a company this weekend. hmmm.. come what may.

8. Vivid dreams. Again. Not really what you call “vivid” coz I can’t even remember the details of it. But, it’s really fun!

9. I can now see the results of my body toning. Even my friends noticed it. Hmmm..
It is when the time I was already infected with HIV when flirting from other guys arise! such a wrong timing.

10. Still, I’m not a desperate retard. And I will never be. 😀

11. Piling up love songs on my iPod, WTH?! I know it’s cheesy. but hey, don’t be cheeky! I just want to drive my emotions out.

12. Planning of intensifying my photography hobby. anyone care to be a model?

Any comments, reactions or violent reactions?
Just give me a holler. 🙂

Ta!