1st Crush

Just got into another self-date. It was a movie marathon, just 2 though. Very contrasting ones, one was Paranormal Activity and the other, Petrang Kabayo. It was nice. I was scared and I had some laughs. The moment I’m writing this entry, I’m dining in a nearby fast-food resto on my phone, I really don’t mind me being alone, though there are some whereabouts of ‘aloneliness’. It’s almost Halloween and lots of people are going home to their own provinces, it’s really nice to see and watch people as I dine out. Traffic is heavy too.

I remember when Juan dela Cruz, the blogger, his partner and I were dining. I don’t know if noticed it, while we were talking, I keep on staring at the window hoping to see someone I know.. Pak! There was one…

His name was R.G, my first crush dated way back first year college, around 2003 perhaps. It was a kilig moment when we met. A relative of mine is an engineering subject professor in one of the most famous engineering schools in the country, of course, I’m also a student. Relative was not able to attend to class to conduct the exam, so I assumed the place. It’s alright though since his co-professors know me that much. I conducted the exam and saw R.G. His cute, wearing a cap and it seemed he wasn’t prepared for the exam. Ok, the papers were given, the graduating class took the exam, I was 1st yr then, and tried to stare at him. He seemed to notice it so he stared back till the time runned out and everbody walked home. He was left behind, approached me and asked if we can be friends.. He took my number and off we go. Long exchange of messages revealed that he was a commercial model and seen in some ads. Maybe he’s bluffing, I checked it out and yeah.. He really was. With some billboards and tv ads. His Hugo Boss quenched hands and that so neat look really dragged me.. He graduated, I continued my engineering course and the communication was gone. It was like a gradient, slowly faded out. Well, when I saw him again couple of weeks ago.. He’s still cute. Remembering the old days.

Maybe, JDC is right.. I must stop being choosy.



I just found out that I missed another tablet of Lamivudine + Zidovudine.
I’m having difficulties with medicine compliance.. my usual schedule is 12pm and 12am.

My phone will alarm but to my state of being busy, I take them an hour of two.
Now I missed one… again. I need to restructure my schedule.

I’m just having a hard time… I feel anxious (continued to my next post)


State of Equilibrium

It was a mixture of stress and relaxation.

A cd4-dropping stress + cd4-increasing activity = equilibrium, too much science eh?

Stresses were:

a forced weekend over time work.
an almost postponed photo shoot.
it rained like hell.
i caught the colds virus and i am now sniffing like a dog.
some frustrations which i cannot reverse.
mouth sores (singaw) all over.. i cannot eat well!

Relaxation were:

a short shopping.
the photo shoot.
met new friends and made lots of laughter.
a game in timezone, i miss doing this!
met a poz blogger – JDC. Finally, we managed to set our times and meet. Nice meeting you!

Anyway. That’s about it.

See ya. Ta!

Been a while

It’s been a while since my last post. A couple of weeks ago I think.

I don’t know but it seems that my aggressiveness and urge is slowly deteriorating.
I’m losing the enthusiasm of my everyday life. Nothing new happens, I can’t even control the steering wheel of my path. The past weekends, i’m just home.. just online and doing nothing. More than a couch potato. This week, still the same.. nothing really happens.

Though there are “some” good news for me.

I know I can do this, I can surpass this. I know my emotions are stable enough without the help of others. But… I’m feeling it.

I don’t know.. I still need to re-assess my Depression Management.

It’s 10.10.10 – any special thing to do? I want to go out and treat myself.

Nothing much to say.
Take care!