Frustration

I think I’ll quit Portrait photography. Nothing is really happening. I think I am trying to hard.

I really hope to be a magazine photographer. But the thing is… it’s not right on track.

I have models – I don’t have location
I have location – I don’t have models
I have a shoot – I don’t have the equipment
I have the equipment – I don’t have shoot
I have all – I don’t have the chance

Really frustrating. I think I need to go back to Landscape. Chance is not not giving me to improve and hone my skills. Heartbreaking. All I do is just stare at those high fashion magazines, eating my heart out.

My portrait lens was just a waste. It seems I need to sell this and buy an Ultra-Wide angle one.

I’m depressed.

Ridaura and Mosaic Vaccine

Two medical breakthroughs were released recently.
1.
New tests shows a Gold (Au)-containing drug eliminates HIV reservoirs. 
Reservoirs make HIV difficult to cure. Those creatures get inside on what we call “Memory Cells” for a while. They stay for as long as 8-10 years and when ARV treatment is stopped, resurgence and replication will recur.  
ARV’s stop the HIV replication process, that is at different stages. Researchers are now looking for ways on how to target these inactive cells-containing HIV. 
The drug Ridaura (brand) – auranofin (generic) is used to treat rheumatoid arthritis. It acts by killing those inactive cells and shortening the lives of the new ones. 
Here’s the complete story – hope you understand some terms 🙂 LINK
2.
Another reason why HIV is hard to cure is because it can mutate and adapt to certain environment caused by drugs used and the body’s natural immune system. Proteins which are very stubborn and intelligent in finding ways to enter CD4 cells.
Mosaic Vaccine
A potential new vaccine that will commence human trials by late 2012 – when the world is about to end. 
A vaccine that comprises of different sets of proteins from a central database. Database which is home to different information on HIV mutations. 
Here’s the LINK
Plus the new line of ARV’s for to be tested.

Hope this will end the 25-year reign of the creature. Just like the old days when people were scared of Bubonic Plague and when Polio is now eradicated.

Blog Hopping

It seems that I’m going outside the box – that is, using my blog to read and comment on other non-HIV related bloggers. I don’t normally do this. Of course, for the sake of identity.

Concentrating on the fields of Photography and Travel. Wag lang sana matakot yung blog owners sakin.

10 more minutes and the clock will strike 3am. It’s mid day of the week  and still I’m up this late. Just a late sleeper.
No one’s awake, no Facebook and Twitter notifications. Just me and my dandy laptop. So, as a form of entertainment – read blogs. Blog hopping.
Can’t stand to make some comments on those worthy posts but the thing is, using this account. Hmm… wonder where will this “risk” take me.
Gawd! EFV is on the peak effect – Can’t think of the words to type into.

This is plain Bullcrap

Not intended for the Holy Week. I just need to let this burst out. I’m so pissed off with this seemingly uneducated entity. I was just trying to be friendly, starting some small talks – which I don’t normally do. And what, being belittled with this MF! 
Hoy mas mahiya ka nga. You’re already 35 years old and act that way. Looking at his jargon, he seemed like a big, fat, dark, uneducated, pimple-prone, stinky creature. Pardon my French but I’m really really pissed off. For his identity’s sake.. let’s hide his uncreative username – I don’t wanna him to get famous at my expense. 
Check the conversation below.  
To my rage, I committed a grammatic error… Epic fail for my English rant. :))
He really seem uneducated, maybe I was wrong with my 2nd reply. But still, all my sentences ended with a period. That’s declarative bitch.

Don’t be too EXPENSIVE

I talked to Google – “how to live below your means”
I admit. I’m too lucrative, sumptuous, luxurious living person.. Ma luho in tagalog terms.
No contentment was achieved on my end. I always want the high-tech stuff, newest things and expensive thoughts that I can brag about. Well, it’s not really obvious on my part. What I mean is, I still look simple and humble enough. 
As a result – No savings. Yes. I am the epitome of Zero Maintaining balance. This came into my mind when my office are planning for a group credit card application. I don’t have a credit card anymore. Which is a good thing, but of course there’s a downfall. Maybe it’s time to live just on how I can pay for it… Now with savings. 
Thinking of the long term effect, maybe this might really help. In case of emergencies and other stuff that needs immediate financial attention. 
I need to appreciate the things that I am holding on right now for me be fulfilled, be contented and avoid any unwanted expenses. I don’t want to come to a point that I am already insolvent. (Balance Sheet Insolvency – Liability is greater than Asset) Now that’s Accounting..
As early as now, turning 25 years old. I think I need something to be proud of. Financial responsibility will play more than anything else. Health responsiveness is next. 
So, I talked to my dear friend Google, How to live by your means. 
Here were some suggestions. This might seem simple but analyzing it would give you a bigger picture.
1. Borrow and share.
Instead of going to the cinemas to watch the latest film, why not just borrow some DVD’s from a friend or perhaps download one, since I have a fast internet connection. Watch films that are worthwhile watching. Those that will look better on the big screen. You save extra ticket price, commuters fare and some food expenses. I’ll try to these, the hardship I’m getting into is that I don’t wanna stay at home over the weekend. It seem that the day is VERY UNPRODUCTIVE. And who wants to stay when your mom steals your privacy?

2. Avoid the mall.

Similar to the one above. If I get bored, I go the mall. Stroll and look for interesting items. This tends to give you expenses. I stumbled upon a great shirt… I buy it. I craved for an expensive crepe, I dine.. Really expensive. 


3. Find a better deal and actually SAVE the difference.
One of my syndrome, IMPULSIVENESS. I buy on the spot. Pak! Now, I need to check whether there’s a cheap alternative of the equivalent. Don’t be pressured by the cute sales guys. Wear an ipod to isolate their irritating sales pitch. If B is cheaper than A and of the same quality, go grab B. But if C comes into place. Try considering. 

4. Stay Healthy!  Medical problems drain bank accounts.  
True enough, I remember when I was in Makati Medical Center for my skin problem treatment. Medicines costs more than a thousand bucks per week. Pretty relative to everyone. 

5. Don’t be in-secured.
Try not to compare yourself with what others have. Blackberry phones are now on the rise. Since it’s a QWERTY phone. I want those. If I want those… another expense. Though I might really buy one soon. As a birthday gift. 🙂

Oh well, Lemme try doing this. If not, just save a couple of bucks every pay check. 

Idiom: "Under"

Another discovery led me to a shock…
I have this photography sharing site and someone added me, like 2 years ago. He’s hot, model type of guy, great body and really cute. He was my crush from then on.
I was with a close poz friend and sat beside him while he was browsing his Facebook. Come to my surprise, that hot guy has another account. Maybe his real one. And he was now the center of conversation and now.. He’s also poz. Wow. Cases are really now increasing tremendously. I can’t them. World just keeps going smaller and smaller. 
Now I wonder, is he “under” or what?
“under” – you know what I mean… 
I hope he’s nicer now. 

Another Conversion

I talked to Google. 
Hey Google, “How to be an Extrovert” 
Wut the heck.. Well, I need to… need to extend networks. I think being extra Introvert won’t do me anything.
Of course it won’t go overnight. It may take time for this.
Here are some from HERE
Find Social Activities You Enjoy
Which I already did of have. Photography, travel and tech stuff

Push Your Comfort Zone Limits
A challenge for me, I like being alone. Solitude.

Learn the Art of Talking
Just like what my manager told me, You need to do more small talks. I don’t know what to talk about or even start any.

The Joy of Introversion
Similar to number 2.

Oh well, lemme try how to cope with this.