Life to date, I always wanted to be an independent person. That is, having my own place to live and doing my own personal ways to live everyday life.
Since I was a kid, I was unconsciously trained by my mom to be independent. Everyday I was left alone in the house, do my own stuff like lunch preparation and household chores. Imagine, me at a young age already does these things. No nanny or maid to rely on, well they didn’t stay too long but over all I was the one being the sole household mate of my childhood.
Now that I am working, I always wanted to be on a seperate way with my folks, but I don’t have the change of doing so since I can’t pound enough reason to my mom why the sudden thing.
Several factors affect this decision. First, perhaps I’m the only child so mother’s instinct is of course not to let go and she thinks that I can’t handle myself. Second, my workplace is just near so there’s no reason for me to transfer to another place. Third, I’m not yet done on my short-term goal which is to find a company to offer stability and good compensation.
If I were to ask, My ideal life is like a bachelor. Simple life of living alone, being stable and has the moved into a managerial level, has his own vehicle and be in a liberal way of life.
Living independent has many pro’s and con’s.
There’s no one to look after me if ever the time I got sick – especially in my condition. Doing other household chores can be time consuming like laundry and shirt ironing – by the way I don’t know how to properly iron a polo shirt or even fold one, I hate washing the dishes and clothes. I can invite my friends over to celebrate something, I can go anytime of the day especially if some of my friends asked me for a late dinner and movie date somewhere near. The expenses are bad too, so it’s a must that I have more than the average source of income, unless if the company I work for gave me one then it’s a bonus.
So far, I’m working on some short-term, mid-term and long-term goals. Which I wanna talk about on a seperate post.
I just hope that there will be a time that I can be given a chance to be one and prove that I can handle my own.
I have a short problem…
Someone from the office sent a request to follow my Twitter posts, If I allowed him to… He can now see all my gay stuff. LOL
If that thing happens, the new office community will know what’s my standpoint… being gay?
Should I accept or not?
I having this bouts of quitting photography.
My photography venture started out with a mere a camera phone, took pictures of myself as a form of vanity… My office mate then introduced her digital camera which I very like because of its picture quality as opposed to my phone. I tried saving up and got myself one and really enjoyed taking lots of pictures, not just for vanity but also for aesthetic purposes. This was the onset of my traveling ventures within the country.
Took pictures of the best spots within Philippines. Several years after I decided to try Portrait photography.
Portraiture seems prosperous for me, was able to shoot some glamorous models. From a sexy girl from FHM to a prestigious bikini model search.
There was a sudden decline of activities. Been busy with work and grave side effects of arvs. My dslr is now getting rotten inside its case.
I’m so envious of others who always update their online portfolios.
My heart now goes with portraiture. I even tried applying as professional photographer like more than 5x now and still got no call… Bottomline, my portfolio is not good enough to compete with others.
Ii don’t have the chance to hone my skills, I don’t have my studio and place. There were chances I have more than the expected xdeal invites but I don’t have the right indoor location. I have an indoor location but no models to have an xdeal shoot with.
My equiptment are no longer at its peak utilization so might, I felt like I was trying to hard at this.. Might as well end it and divert my attention to other things.
It seems that it’s not really planned for this venture. No concrete decisions though but still testing the waters this year end or next year.
I talked to Google and found this website about new job anxiety. Pretty much similar to what I am experiencing now. This might be helpful to other who are starting out with their role.
Whatever the reasons, here are a few strategies for overcoming anxiety related to your job:
1.If you had to accept a reduced salary or forego some other benefit that you once had, or if you took a role that is not quite aligned with your ultimate career aspirations, consider the upside of the situation. The employment will help you get back in the game, meet new people, expand your network, and possibly develop a new skill that you did not have before. Identify things you can do to improve your situation over the medium and long-term.
2.Be sure to take care of yourself. Eating 3 donuts and 2 gigantic cups of coffee before you go to work will not make the anxiety you feel about your job any easier. Consider taking a short walk during your lunch hour if feasible; look into incorporating other stress reduction strategies into your daily activities.
3.Refute your negative thoughts. Most of the time our imagination gets the best of us. Start off on a positive course. The position might live up to or possibly exceed what you expected.
4.Create a professional brand for yourself and then “act as if.” Decide how you want to be perceived by others. Positive, proactive, and committed are some things that come to mind. Your self confidence will grow as you start and get into a schedule; you don’t know where your new path will take you. Consider it something of an adventure. Things sometimes happen when you least expect it.
Year 2012 is new to me, I transferred to a new office with a totally new management and environment.
The new work load seem to be lighter than before, but of course it’s not that financially rewarding. The reason why I decided to go onto this is purely stepping stone. I wanna get out of the Business Process Outsourcing industry and be inclined with the corporate world. I got a chance to be with one so I grabbed it.
Schedule is far more better where I used to, now I get the change to go home by afternoon and do some stuff.
The only thing that I am anxious about is when the time comes that I need to go to RITM for my medicines. I have a normal office schedule, and so are they. Obviously there’s this schedule conflict which I have to work on.
Time runs very slowly at this time of the day, the clock is very slow after the lunch when it is 1pm-4pm. I’m always on the agony of waiting and making myself busy.
Now I get to dress up like an office boy. Sleeved shirt, leather shoes and chinos. At least there’s a sense of fulfillment of being a yuppy. LOL
I have this gut feeling that I won’t last long with this company, I might give myself a year to a maximum of year and a half. I feel unease and I’m not that excited to go to work. Perhaps I’m still adjusting with the new environment since I came from a very dynamic industry.
Assesing myself to date, I need to create something to look forward to so I can excite myself to go to work. My observation tells me that I might not grow with the company. But it seems that I am having a hard time doing so.