This is the best description for someone who’s an introvert. HIV and introversion is a deadly combination.
- 23 signs you’re secretly an introvert… (huffingtonpost.com)
I’ve read a quote tweet:
“Keep your dramas private and your happiness public“
I somewhat dissent this. Yes, I want to make my happiness public, but keeping one’s drama private? I understand the fact that everybody doesn’t wanna see drama shit, when a person is in the state of drama, maybe we also need to understand he needs help. He’s waiting for someone to reach out, not expecting to clear up his mind but to calm, pacify and assure ever thing is gonna be ok.
Making dramas public is one way of telling the people that “hey I have a problem, can someone help?” but of course, there’s what we call limitation. Excessive drama can really be annoying and infiltrate other’s mind, making them stressed and intolerant. These cases are maybe a form of “attention-seeking” individuals. This is when our minds should work, classifying dramas as either attention-seekers or the legit ones. One thing’s for sure, this is the only way where they want to vent out.
I vent out my dramas through blogging, I’m not really the person who approaches others and talk about what ever shit I’m feeling. After seeing my archives, 3 years of blogging, 3 years of venting out. I think I’m going dramatic.
As they say, happiness relies within. But the problem is when I cannot see the bright side. I have to admit, am now in the state of depression and it’s getting worse day after day. I am no longer feeling, if not good, there’s better than this. All exertion leads me to just being hurt. I’m almost like you, looking for happiness.
I don’t wanna keep this long. As a final note: whenever you see someone venting his drama, it’s the best time to be open minded. Test your maturity and always give the benefit of the doubt. Reach out. There are times when people fall.
“Being an introvert is not a psychological condition that needs to be fixed. It is not a disease, nor is it a personality deficiency. Introversion is, as well, not in fact purely social. ”
We live in a world of extroverts.
For better or worse, some three-quarters of the population are what is commonly classified as extroverts, which means every introvert is inherently living in a world built by and defined by extroverts.
What is an extrovert?
An extrovert is a person who is energized by being around other people. This is the opposite of an introvert who is energized by being alone. Being an introvert doesn’t mean you don’t like people, but it does mean you will quietly go completely insane if you are forced to interact with other people – especially unfamiliar people – for extended periods of time with no option for respite.
There are some great tracts on the web about introversion in a game attempt to explain introverts to what is a majority population of extroverts, but in most of the various essays there have been some points that…
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He’s into me, I’m into him, he has a boyfriend and we are good friends. That’s how complicated being a third wheel is.
I don’t know but it seems that recently, I am a magnet to couples. From hookups to plain get along, the feeling sucks big time. In general, I feel like squeezing myself in the situation. Trying to be one with what I cannot, and that is simply being out of place.
Who wants to feel that way? The most awkward situation. Not really focusing this to the third wheel hookups – threesome as you say it. As much as possible, I stay away from those. It’s not my thing. Not even orgy. Year to date, I had like 4 or 5 couple hook up invitations. One of which was a dead trap.
Others may not feel the pain or misery of being the third act, I don’t know why – and I don’t wanna really know, but when the situation sinks in, you already felt there is something wrong and you can’t get out of it, you just have to bear it. Wait until it runs out.
There was one instance, a friend of mine asked me to tour him and his “friend” in the city, just to know in the end they are partners, really caught me up in the middle. I was in the point if no return. Halfway through the day, I felt miserable and anxious and then depressed. We were at a bar, dancing and having some drinks, my friend’s bf turns away… we play. Stolen kisses and hugs. They got drunk, things got worse. It ended with a slap of desperation in my face. It was bearble during the day, but I gave up and cried while going home. This friend still tries to communicate with me and am just creating my own ghost if I try entertaining him.
Am moving on. Couple of weeks have gone, the feeling of desperation and misery are still there. Slowly catching up with time.
I have 2 main sets of friends, 6 each so I’m the seventh, and these bastards are couples. So aggrevating the situation, they are 3 pairs of couples and I’m the seventh wheel – and that’s times 2! Oh for christ sake. 6 times the slap on my face.
Seriously, this is not good for me. It is making my current depression 10 fold greater. I’m vulnerable these days. My emotions are eating myself out and I can’t control it. Gone are the days of my smart ass moves, I am no longer resilient.
When I ask you how you felt being the third wheel, maybe it is the same as what I am feeling but make it super saiyan. Level 99.
Whenever I see someone cute. A guy in my case.
Credits to photo owner.
Another life challenge came my way. Now I’m moving on, I have to turn the page and see a new one. Forget about the past and anticipate what the future will hold. I have revised my bucket list, here was my previous one and was only able to do 2 of them. Bucket List
Here are my revised bucket list with its degree of feasibility.
100 = feasible
0 = good luck
1. Visit one of the Nordic Countries and experience Aurora Borealis.
The main concern here is the budget and resources to use. I think one European trip will cost more than a hundred thousand Pesos. So I should save and lessen unwanted expenses from this day forward.
Degree of feasibility: 30/100
2. Watch a concert.
Done this couple of years ago. Can be repeated any time of the year.
Degree of feasibility: 100/100
3. Have a bachelor’s pad that suites my taste and personality.
Also, need to save for a rent-to-own condominium unit. Quite feasible as long as I have a stable and higher paying work than what I have now.
Degree of feasibility: 70/100
4. Ride an Airbus A380 super jumbo jet in Business or First Class.
Goes with the first item but can easily be achieved with any other nearby countries.
Degree of Feasibility: 50/50
5. Do a solo backpacking adventure abroad.
Quite easy due to neighboring ASEAN countries like Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam and HK. Actually, I’m ready to do one next year just collecting some courage to do it alone.
Degree of Feasibility: 80/100
6. Be drunk like Kesha.
Very easy. Done this a couple of times. But of course, the succeeding sessions are now moderated.
Degree of feasibility: 200/100
7. Invite someone for a date.
I’m a traditional kind of guy when it comes to dating. I think everybody does. Ideally like going out to movies, coffee, dinner and the like. The challenge here is I don’t actually do the initial invitation. The introvert side kicks in. Another is, I can’t see someone to invite out to.
Degree of feasibility: marginal depending on the guy I have to ask.
8. Have a swimmer’s body.
Very hard to achieve.
Degree of feasibility: I need a miracle
Something to look forward to.. especially the last item. Teehee.
*credit to photo owners
Been depressed (again) lately. Need more of this.