The Complications of a Third Wheel

He’s into me, I’m into him, he has a boyfriend and we are good friends. That’s how complicated being a third wheel is.

I don’t know but it seems that recently, I am a magnet to couples. From hookups to plain get along, the feeling sucks big time. In general, I feel like squeezing myself in the situation. Trying to be one with what I cannot, and that is simply being out of place.

Who wants to feel that way? The most awkward situation. Not really focusing this to the third wheel hookups – threesome as you say it. As much as possible, I stay away from those. It’s not my thing. Not even orgy. Year to date, I had like 4 or 5 couple hook up invitations. One of which was a dead trap.

Others may not feel the pain or misery of being the third act, I don’t know why – and I don’t wanna really know, but when the situation sinks in, you already felt there is something wrong and you can’t get out of it, you just have to bear it. Wait until it runs out.

tumblr_l93ebiYAPW1qblz23o1_500_largeThere was one instance, a friend of mine asked me to tour him and his “friend” in the city, just to know in the end they are partners, really caught me up in the middle. I was in the point if no return. Halfway through the day, I felt miserable and anxious and then depressed. We were at a bar, dancing and having some drinks, my friend’s bf turns away… we play. Stolen kisses and hugs. They got drunk, things got worse. It ended with a slap of desperation in my face. It was bearble during the day, but I gave up and cried while going home. This friend still tries to communicate with me and am just creating my own ghost if I try entertaining him.

Am moving on. Couple of weeks have gone, the feeling of desperation and misery are still there. Slowly catching up with time.

I have 2 main sets of friends, 6 each so I’m the seventh, and these bastards are couples. So aggrevating the situation, they are 3 pairs of couples and I’m the seventh wheel – and that’s times 2! Oh for christ sake. 6 times the slap on my face.

Seriously, this is not good for me. It is making my current depression 10 fold greater. I’m vulnerable these days. My emotions are eating myself out and I can’t control it. Gone are the days of my smart ass moves, I am no longer resilient.

When I ask you how you felt being the third wheel, maybe it is the same as what I am feeling but make it super saiyan. Level 99.

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Author: thechemistryguy

Diagnosed with HIV last 2010. Introvert, jet setter, Science guy and tech junkie. email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com

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