How To Get Away With HIV

This post is really about dating.

I’m watching a fairly new TV show, How To Get Away with Murder. After the first episode, it got me hooked up. I just learned about this like a couple of weeks ago, I’m not really into court drama thing but this one really hit me.

US TV series these days feature more gay/lesbian relationships, on-screen kissing and make out of the same gender. Which makes it more open minded and rather educating the audience more on how equal all of us can be.

But what really cuffed me are these characters named Connor and Oliver. Connor, a very good looking law intern this IT-nerd guy, Oliver at a bar and used him to gain information on a case he’s working with. They now constantly seeing each other favoring Connor. Oliver had a thought of them being partners, ditched by Connor, Oliver hooked up as he was hear-broken from Connor, they went back to dating. They took it to a higher note, both had tested for HIV, Connor being negative, Oliver as positive. Connor now is guilty since he thinks he’s the reason for all of this, yada yada yada.

Basically, it’s all very timely. Their story line make me excited. I guess, you have to try and watch it, you’ll appreciate it more.


Which brings me to these questions.

For those PLHIV’s:

1. How do you assert someone, a potential date or partner, regarding your HIV status?
2. How do you respond to certain actions once you told them?

For those who’s non-seroconverts:

1. How do you react or return to someone one’s he surrendered his status?

I haven’t dated for a while, like almost a decade. No nothing, some meetups, hook ups, flings and flirts. But nothing serious. I see 3 reasons here: 1. My ultimate sheepishness/self-conscious/diffident demeanor 2. Perhaps being choosy and 3. Being HIV positive. I have addressed my choosyness, trying to correct my self-esteem but unable to secure my sero status.

To be honest, I almost have all dating apps on my phone. Grindr, Jack’d, Hornet, PlanetRomeo and Tinder Plus (lol). I’m not really a fan favorite, I just try to talk to those who initially message me first, which is like less than the number of endangered Rhinos in the wild. It makes me think to just stop using them.

For now, the main reason of me being apprehensive is because of the sero status. I picture myself in the situation where I have to reveal my sero status and my potential date rejects it. That’s always a case. Perhaps it is time to share some of the “encounters”.

To answer the questions above,

1. How do you assert someone, a potential date or partner, regarding your HIV status?

I just can’t. First, I don’t have a potential date to tell to. Second, I automatically fear rejection. I stay away from it.

2. How do you respond to certain actions once you told them?

I really don’t know, I haven’t been there. But If I do get rejected, it’s like shooting a 3-barrel shotgun through my chest.


Author: The Chemistry Guy

HIV positive est 2010 Introvert, wanderlust, Science guy and tech junkie. email:

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