When I learned over Facebook that my [ex] date changed his status to “in a relationship”.. I said “whoa, that was fast.. we just dated 2 weeks ago and now he has a bf – I know this is a premature engagement and it will end sooner than expected” and it did.
Now, he’s claiming me back.. trying to apologize for not waiting and being impatient for not breaking my shell. Yes, I admit that I impose a hard shell to break. I don’t typically show my weak point/s to any human entities. I am the opposite of vulnerability. An oyster with a hard shell, needs effort to open and see the pearl (melodramatic).
Now, he’s like messaging me from every channel he could. From Facebook, to Viber or whatever that may come in handy.
I have set things straight, I told him I’m not your fall back guy. Not an option to be taken for granted. I just don’t know if he’ll accept it whole-heatedly or still be the persistent fly to roam around me.
One thing is for sure, I would no longer date him. We can go out, but as buddies. No more, no less.
Besides, he doesn’t know my sero-status. What could be the worse thing that can happen?
In relation to this, I have some postulates – assumptions or whatever you call it.
The Risk postulate
I am an HIV-positive guy, opened my doors to date another guy (assuming he’s negative), went out together for some time, feelings are now on the steady state then admitted my status… he declined and ran away. It’s pretty hard to find and date guys whose minds are as wide as an airport runway. Many have told, if you are to disclose your status to a guy, don’t do it immediately. Let the connection between you build up before letting it all out.
I have experienced a couple who deemed to show whether they can accept my status or not. I have mentioned in a blog post, perhaps 2 years ago, I asked this guy about the “non-negotiable” factors or traits for a future relationship.. he said, “he must be HIV negative”. Ok… PASS.
This is getting into a trend. I won’t take a risk.
I’m not really talking about “in general”, there are still some guys who are really open minded – those educated bitches who know how to accept and understand the scenario. I know some HIV-positive friends who engage into magnetic or sero-discordant relationships. I’m just wondering – “WHERE THE HELL DO THEY FIND THESE GUYS?!”
I went on an eyeball-date from a guy I met in Planet Romeo, we were exchanging sms for the past 1 week, almost every hour and every minute… how enthusiastic, right?
He then decided to meet on our common free time, Weekend. The time and day came, we were about to meet around dinner time. Prior to that, he asked if we can watch a movie.. why not! We then watched a movie and then kicked our asses to a resto for a dinner.
Lucky13 even saw me and urgently called to let me know that i’m such a snob passing him by.
He made me laugh when he said to continue my dinner date with this fugly guy. Well, I admit it.. I think I was a victim of photo manipulation and deceived with so perfect poses. Not really a big thing, I’m already here and I got nothing to lose, so just stay and be nice … Still.
Minutes after, he asked..
“Is it ok that a friend of mine will join us?”
..I was in the state of shock, I asked myself.. why? Ok, then be it.. Let your friend join us.
Let us call this friend of his as GUY X.
GUY X arrived.. he damn cute. cute based on my subjective mind. Chinito, average height, I think he’s into gym since he has nice biceps and pecs and wears glasses. Jaw dropping indeed.
Using my peripheral vision, I try to stare at him and he’s becoming familiar.. I know this guy. I saw him somewhere. I just don’t know where.. Listening to stories and get-to-know questions revealed the answer, he’s a former colleague. Shocks, Just like what I thought the moment I first saw him, He’s gay. Ok, glaciers of ice were broken.. Natural flow of conversation came up. We were enjoying the dinner and it seems that there’s no more awkwardness..
It was a turn off for my date though. Why the hell he did that? Prior to that, he was so busy texting.. maybe I am not his type. Well, to begin with I don’t like him too. QUITS.
Done with dinner and off to the nearest coffee shop. Settled down and ordered some hot drink to let our tummy calm down, Minutes later… He called in another friend, GUY Y. He was a bit tall, cute and of light aura. He’s nice.
We were on the table making stories and getting to know each other when another friend came by.. GUY Z! fuck this crap… this is getting really awkward. To be brutally honest, I’m one of the most challenged person when it comes to this certain situation. I am not really a socially inclined person. I just sit down, keep quiet and observe.. GUY Z is quite overwhelming which made the awkwardness really severe. what I can say is that they were nice, they did not let me be out of place.. but still, I was really caught off guarded. Well another lesson learned. Not really though, it isn’t my first time.. Hindi na ko natuto.
We parted ways and for sure, they’re talking about me. Who cares.