Bottle Disposal

Went to RITM last Monday for another refill of my ARV’s. I came at around 10am and was surprised on how many patients waiting for their cd4 results. There are quite a few and my turn was at the 61st queue! Just wow.

Good thing I have given spare PHILHEALTH forms so there was no need to fill out and wait in vain. After a few minutes, my number was called and guided to nurse’s station for ARV prescription. One thing I don’t like with this male nurse is how he approached me while conducting this mini interview… I missed around 4 doses of Combivir last month and he was calculating my adherence score. He asked a stricking question of WHY?… I answered sarcastically, I KNOW, BEEN USING IT FOR 3 YEARS.

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Instead of staying longer inside the clinic and prolly contemplating to argue more.. I decided to relax outside and came to see an old friend. Made some catch up and had lunch together.

I have brought a paper bag for my ARVs. More convenient than bringing big bags. Now the problem is how do I dispose these boxes and bottles…? My mom doesn’t know about my status and it ia kinda hard to just leave these unattended.

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Working On Graveyard

I started working on the graveyard shift last mid-2012, I had some challenges to go through – which includes adjusting my circadian rhythm and since I will be sleeping during the day, taking Efavirenz early morning. The body clock thing is no longer a problem since I can adjust to some minor to major disturbances. My weekends are quite  used with going out with friends or out of towns, this will endure me some extra time to be awake. There are times I need to be awake for 24 hours just to cope with my social side. As a result.. eye bags.

Another downside is when I need to take Efavirenz during the day, in the event of some gathering, out of town or any activity that needs my mind and physical motors, Efavirenz’s side effects is hindering it. Now I am at the verge of this major adjustment where I need to take Efavirenz during the day and bear its undefined side effects. I have been taking EFV for 3 years now, dizziness is now well taken cared of – I just take menthol candies to combat the dizziness while I’m still awake. There’s still the vivid dreams which I can no longer control. 

These adjustments make me think to opt for a normal working schedule. Prior to this type of work, I was in the corporate setting and having a flexible work time as a privilege. 

I am having difficulties sleeping during the day, my mind tends to be more active and I think a lot when I hit the sheets. I admit, I still have the depression hangover from last year which somehow affects my internal cycle and re-bounces every now and then.

Now, my internal systems are slowly deteriorating because of inadequate sleep and abnormal circadian rhythms. I am balancing my sleeping habits with the normal routine I need to have. Maintaining my social being must be at hand for my depression not to recoil and this is a tough setup. 

Options for this 
1. Continue and play the balancing act game or,
2. Look for a new job – a normal working hour job and quit my current one.

I don’t know how to do this but — come what may.

*photo taken along Ayala Avenue after work. Going home from a bleak morning while most of the “normal” workers are getting to work.