Four Week Supply

I was able to refill another stash of ARV’s. These will last 4 months. In all fairness, RITM-ARG made an effort to make my refill and CD4 schedule into one scheduled visit. Thanks to that grumpy nurse.

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It was a rainy-monsoon day, getting there was like suicide. Refill schedules these days are much easier than before (they have now a “more” efficient” system of segregating refills, check ups and Cd4 testing – I should say a slight kudos good job). Slight, CD4 testing system still needs improvement.

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Soliloquizing

I’ve read a quote tweet:

Keep your dramas private and your happiness public

I somewhat dissent this. Yes, I want to make my happiness public, but keeping one’s drama private? I understand the fact that everybody doesn’t wanna see drama shit, when a person is in the state of drama, maybe we also need to understand he needs help. He’s waiting for someone to reach out, not expecting to clear up his mind but to calm, pacify and assure ever thing is gonna be ok.

Making dramas public is one way of telling the people that “hey I have a problem, can someone help?” but of course, there’s what we call limitation. Excessive drama can really be annoying and infiltrate other’s mind, making them stressed and intolerant. These cases are maybe a form of “attention-seeking” individuals. This is when our minds should work, classifying dramas as either attention-seekers or the legit ones. One thing’s for sure, this is the only way where they want to vent out.

Monologist
Monologist (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I vent out my dramas through blogging, I’m not really the person who approaches others and talk about what ever shit I’m feeling. After seeing my archives, 3 years of blogging, 3 years of venting out. I think I’m going dramatic.

As they say, happiness relies within. But the problem is when I cannot see the bright side. I have to admit, am now in the state of depression and it’s getting worse day after day. I am no longer feeling, if not good, there’s better than this. All exertion leads me to just being hurt. I’m almost like you, looking for happiness.

I don’t wanna keep this long. As a final note: whenever you see someone venting his drama, it’s the best time to be open minded. Test your maturity and always give the benefit of the doubt. Reach out. There are times when people fall.

The Complications of a Third Wheel

He’s into me, I’m into him, he has a boyfriend and we are good friends. That’s how complicated being a third wheel is.

I don’t know but it seems that recently, I am a magnet to couples. From hookups to plain get along, the feeling sucks big time. In general, I feel like squeezing myself in the situation. Trying to be one with what I cannot, and that is simply being out of place.

Who wants to feel that way? The most awkward situation. Not really focusing this to the third wheel hookups – threesome as you say it. As much as possible, I stay away from those. It’s not my thing. Not even orgy. Year to date, I had like 4 or 5 couple hook up invitations. One of which was a dead trap.

Others may not feel the pain or misery of being the third act, I don’t know why – and I don’t wanna really know, but when the situation sinks in, you already felt there is something wrong and you can’t get out of it, you just have to bear it. Wait until it runs out.

tumblr_l93ebiYAPW1qblz23o1_500_largeThere was one instance, a friend of mine asked me to tour him and his “friend” in the city, just to know in the end they are partners, really caught me up in the middle. I was in the point if no return. Halfway through the day, I felt miserable and anxious and then depressed. We were at a bar, dancing and having some drinks, my friend’s bf turns away… we play. Stolen kisses and hugs. They got drunk, things got worse. It ended with a slap of desperation in my face. It was bearble during the day, but I gave up and cried while going home. This friend still tries to communicate with me and am just creating my own ghost if I try entertaining him.

Am moving on. Couple of weeks have gone, the feeling of desperation and misery are still there. Slowly catching up with time.

I have 2 main sets of friends, 6 each so I’m the seventh, and these bastards are couples. So aggrevating the situation, they are 3 pairs of couples and I’m the seventh wheel – and that’s times 2! Oh for christ sake. 6 times the slap on my face.

Seriously, this is not good for me. It is making my current depression 10 fold greater. I’m vulnerable these days. My emotions are eating myself out and I can’t control it. Gone are the days of my smart ass moves, I am no longer resilient.

When I ask you how you felt being the third wheel, maybe it is the same as what I am feeling but make it super saiyan. Level 99.

Fire with Fire – Doctors Injects HIV Into Gying Little Girl (Video)

Brian Langis

Amazing video. The doctors injected HIV in a little dying girl to save her life. Just watch the video.

Reposted from GE Focus Forward
By Russ Kauffman

Who would dare to pit one fatal disease against another… inside the body of an six-year-old patient? The results will shatter all expectations.

GE works on things that matter. The best people and the best technologies taking on the toughest challenges. Finding solutions in energy, health and home, transportation and finance. Building, powering, moving and curing the world. Not just imagining. Doing. GE works.

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HIV Cases in the Philippines Surged High in April 2013

I feel bad every time when HIV cases are reported and emphasized. Let’s be responsible and save lives.
Protect yourselves. This is not the time be complacent with intimate activities.

No condom No entry.

Re-Thinking AIDS in the Philippines

HIV cases in the Philippines surged high in April 2013 as reflected in the April 2013 HIV and AIDS Registry of the National Epidemiology Center of the Department of Health (DOH). A total of 388 new HIV cases for the said month alone was reported to the DOH, adding to 13,179 total cases since 1984. April 2013 cases is 67% higher comparing to last year’s registry (233 persons).

April 2013 Philippine HIV Registry

Sexual contact (356 persons), particularly among men who have sex with men (287 males), topped the most reported mode of transmission for this month followed by injecting drug users (32 persons). Young people ages 15-24 are comprised of 119 cases, making it to 414 youth for the first four months of 2013.

It is not surprising that HIV cases reflected in the HIV Registry keep on  increasing for the past years based on the following factors:

1. Access to free HIV testing…

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HIV and ARV adherence

Thia is my 3rd year of being HIV positive. I got my first ARV – lamivudine, zidovudine and nevirapine, I got excited coz I know these are life savers. I had the chance to switch to Efavirenz as opposed to Nevirapine due to side effects. It took me more than a year to cope with EFV’s neuro-psychological effects. As of the moment, I can pretty say I can manage whatever EFV is to throw. I can even do my travels while being ‘high’ with Efavirenz.

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The first 2 years of my medicine intake, 100% adherence rate. Thankful as my CD4 level went up the hill to its current 710 mark. But this 3rd year is quite different, I no longer excited to take my medicines, alarms and notifications are slowly degrading my on time performance. There was even a month where I missed 3-4 doses. Hype is no longer with me.

I feel weak, depressed and ‘purpose-less’.