All Spark

The Spark Guy

Itโ€™s been a long time since i felt this, a spark. Spark, you feel a connection between him and you.. You feel like you’ve known each other well.

He’s M, i met him a couple of days ago in the self-empowerment seminar. It started out on the first day, remember that i was hesitant to enter the room and tried to squeeze in myself in the round table? He was the one who caught my attention first, not just head turning for the 2nd time but for more than 6 times. He has a good sense of fashion and he’s quite tall at 5’11! Although he’s a bit skinny for his frame and got rashes from Nevirapine, he’s still cute.. He’s my crush from the group.

As i sat in the round table with bunch of dynamic people, he’s the type of a talk-inviting guy coz of his light face and smile.. I really like his eyes, on how his chinito eyes were constructed. I can sense he’s a friendly one. Moments after, i can see in my peripheral vision that he’s looking at me and i think he wants to start a conversation. Ako naman, suplado effect as if i don’t notice anyone.. He found some confidence and approached me with some small talks…..

M: you look familiar
Z: you too! (which is totoo naman talaga)
M: i think i saw you somewhere maybe Gov or Bed.
Z: ah! Sorry, but i havent been there ever since.. Maybe you work in Makati…

He’s really now my crush, i dont know but he got me. Lols
The conversation goes until its lunch time. I sat beside him together with E, the so suplado, scary, serious guy that could kill with his banat and pambara.

He’s directly opposite of me on roundabout and i can always see his face and moves.. Ok, my friend R is already teasing me… Ok ok! I admit, crush ko sya and i like him. First impression was applauded.

I was really suprised when i learned that he’s gonna share with me and J the room for the night… Hmmm

so there you go, we were just inside the room having a little chit chat.. J was on the other room having fun with the other boys.

Hmmm.. This is getting intimate. I wonโ€™t get into details, haha lols.

During the stay of the seminar, i confessed that i liked him. (my first time of doing that, maybe an influence of the seminar topic about disclosure) and it turned out that he likes me too.. No more drama or frills.

After the seminar, Me, him and D – the girly gay decided to have some chit chat over coffee.. And so we did. He was fun to be with. Also D. We were full of chismis and cute stories to tell. We went home and parted ways, M is from Laguna so i decided to drop him off in a nearby terminal. Got home and got spontaneous exchanging sms and calls.

I know it’s too early to tell, letโ€™s test the waters and see if this will work out. I’m sure it will.

Take care, redeem yourself M. ;p



Post Seminar Period

The Self-Empowerment seminar was really fun, i got the chance of meeting new good friends and ease my longing burden regarding the condition. I was even trying to back out when I knew Becky wouldn’t come.. Courage really pays.

I can’t say that I am already empowered just the day after the seminar, there are still a lot of realization to make. The seminar was an eye opener for me and it really gave me the opportunity to see things differently.

The fun part of the seminar was about the personal introduction and the dear friend part. Tears were also shed but not too much as what I expected. The mixture of dynamics of the team made the experience a perfect one, there’s the funny and loud type, the matured ones, the suplados, the kiddy jugglers, the reseverved ones, the smart and witty and almost everything you can think of. You would know who can be of a long term friend and who’s not, but regardless.. it was fun!

Disclosure was one of the most tackled issue on the seminar. You take the risk of disclosing everything for you to gain either love or hate.. Basically that’s it.

And because of that, I decided to spill my condition to an ex-date of mine. Last night he texted me after he got my number attached in my message for him in a personal website. I can say na bati na kami since i felt the his warm welcome of a new friendship. At first I was really hesistant and awkward of spilling the bean, i went along the bushes and got lots of uhm’s, ahh’s’ and eh’s.. He now knows, and he’ relaxed. It was a pretty straight forward conversation, i know he’s intelligent and he would understand everything.. He did! He was even grateful coz i let him realize my condition now. But after a while he’s not talking to me anymore.. Maybe it’s a two-faced risk for me.. None the less, i did my part.

What’s in store for me after the seminar? Im not sure… I can’t tell, i would know when i cross the bridge and get there.


Great Weekend

I just got home from an overnight training seminar held by RITM.
Self-Empowerment training.
Im doing this blog while my memory is still good like fresh fish from the sea.. excited to dive back into the water.

I registered months ago together with Becky, I was excited then since it’s my first time to attend such event. Days were like speed cars and now it’s time for the said event. Unfortunately Becky cant’t make it because of some personal liabilities. So most likely, IM ALONE!

The day has come and I prepared myself a bit late since I know for myself that everybody is practicing the Filipino Time. lols. I arrived in City State Tower at around 1030am. I passed by the hall and saw a bunch of guys and Dr. D and R. I was a little afraid and totally shy since I think i’m late (it really pays to be early, i wont experience the grand entrance!) lols, i cant go in since i’m way too nervous.. i decided to wait in the lounge and tried to gasp for confidence and right timing, minutes later Ate Beth came (thank you Lord!) she accompanied me inside and there you go…

I sat in the round table and tried to squeeze myself in the filled one.. a girly-gay offered me a space, a sigh of relief for me, tried to roll my eyes on every people in front of me and saw several guys of all ages..

Here goes the characters (i’ll try to extract my memory the best as i can):

Ron- a dance instructor from a famous gym center. FF
Da – the sweet and pretty girly-gay.
Re – the reserved and defensive late comer. Has wife but vulnerable to both M/F encounters.
Er – a scary, masungit, suplado, so serious guy. He’s cute.
Rom – a previous ship worker
Jo – a playful, child-like guy.. sorta cute.
Ja – a friend of mine, the fedora hat fashionista guy.
Ju – a super quiet type from Palawan.
Ry – the engineer.
Jos – the straight guy.
Ge – hmmm, not really familiar..
Ki – the so mature thinker advertising guy.
Be – from PAFPI?
Lo – H4 guy.
Za – me?
Ma – my crush :D. spark guy, hihih

Activities went well, the introduce yourself part, story of your life, career planning, emotion handling, self image enhancement and all those stuffs primarily designed for empowering people.
The activities were so fun and got the opportunity to learn everyone’s struggle in life.

As the night went by, we parted ways on our designated rooms.. luckily, i have Ja with me, and Ma, yikeee. lols.. landi!
I dont wanna go onto details on this.. ๐Ÿ˜€ haha
We went to each others room to meet and greet some of the fellow attendees.
Went to sleep and there you go…. ๐Ÿ˜€

2nd day was a great one as expected, lots of fun activities and sharing. Time was running too fast and the day were almost set. some cried and some laughed. it was all fun. It’s time to part ways as the older batches or should i say the tenured ones arrived and invited us for dinner. It’s not really a good time for Da, me and Ma (:D) to have dinner so we went on a separate way, strolled down RP and went on coffee and had some little chit chat.. chismis!

A lot of realizations were instilled in my mind. maybe i will have this on my next blog post.
but for now, i wont keep this long, it was really a great experience and a fun to be with group.
Most importantly Met new friends of the same wave length and a chance to share ideas and be more socially and emotionally responsible. All thanks to Dr. R and the organizers of the seminar. ๐Ÿ™‚