Goals for 2017

It’s been a while since my last blog post. I’m not really running out of ideas but rather having inconsistencies when it come to creating one, and this 2017, one of my goals is to at least post once a month. Along with this, I have primary goals for this year. One is to acquire a skills certification, I’m still deciding yet what certification course to take. I’m already eyeing some IT certification classes like ITIL or Project Management. There’s also a possibility to take Quality Assurance, anything related to ISO practices and even passing a Civil Service examination. Honestly, at this point in time, I’m still in the middle of a quarter-life crisis and pretty malleable where to go. But for now, my aim is to improve and widen my skill set to help me achieve my long term goals.

Travel more and further is another goal for this year. I’m starting to scrap the non-essential things to spend like weekly hanging out, dinner, movie, Starbucks and what not. I also started to save using a piggy bank to effectively save for a year end travel. If not plausible, by 2018. I’m also trying to complete all ASEAN countries, only 3 more to go – Myanmar, Laos and Brunei. Not a priority but an achievement if I can make it. Maybe I can also share some of my travel experiences here? (I know there’s a lot to say lol).

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Fourth is of course maintaining my well being. The golden rule of PLHIV is to take care of themselves and the least thing I can do is take my medications religiously. MY target is to aim for 100% adherence and maintain my undetectable viral load status. Practice safe sex is still a priority. It doesn’t mean I can go wild and rowdy with this undetectable status. So please, take care of yours too. We don’t want to go the hospital asking the doctor to remove a growing cauliflower in your butthole or be tested positive in Herpes or Chlamydia and die. Improving my aesthetic part is also in progress.

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Fifth, improve and boost my mental health. Not that I’m crazy or Schizophrenic, but rather to alleviate the depression I’m going through. Lessening the burdens one at a time. I know it may take a while but I have been in constant effort of doing so. In line with this, seeking improvements in my self esteem. Reducing the need to be social anxious. Try getting new sets of friends,but of course, by choosing them wisely. I’m not getting any younger.

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Lastly, maybe stay committed to achieve these. No one can really help but myself. I know it will be hard but I’d rather try. I have given up and I think another chance has been bestowed. SO why not.

How about you, do you have goals for this year? Write it down and let me know, maybe we can share some ways on how to achieve it.

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Third Year of Being Poz

This marks my third year of being HIV positive. Honestly, I can’t really recall when was the exact date I went to Makati Medical Center and have myself tested, I know it was in between February and March. The 3 years of my conversion was a rollercoaster ride, too steep ups and too free fall when going down. This was the time when you will learn to appreciate who you are and what to perceive of what’s going to happen, being care free is no longer an option. Taking extra care of yourself more than the usual, when I was still considered HIV-negative, should now be your top most priority. 

Novice events took place the last 3 years – meeting new friends and acquaintances, finding someone to be a confidant, being more open to my feelings and a wider range of “activities”.

The first thing came into my mind after being diagnosed was to find someone to talk to and share what happened that afternoon. I went online and found some online forums and communities, which was a bit of help. A couple of weeks have past, I decided to create this blog in hopes of releasing tensions inside and let other reader know how I feel. Through this blog, I have met several people of the same sero-status which turned out to be ok.. though some were not. These people, which some I now call friends were the ones who helped me of somehow forgetting the past. The first year of being diagnosed was exciting because I tend to meet new people almost every week. From the old-school ARG clinic of RITM, to its weekly activities, to check ups with Ate Ana. Seeing new stuff after this were somehow great. I knew I wasn’t the only one.

My second year was not that blessed and turmoil started to pound. It affected both my professional and personal environment. It wasn’t easy for me to sustain myself. I think this year, I started creating a poz-Twitter account. I have some friends you used this and I joined the bandwagon. I have to admit, it was fun and there were lots of chances meeting new people. More than what RITM-ARG has provided. As the chemistry principle of entropy and enthalpy, the more you know.. the greater the chance of uncertainties. Which I proved to be true. It was good at the start but its quality started to decline month after month. It seemed to have contributed a big chunk of what my second year gave to me. I’m not putting blame, just stating what I see. If I happen to check my Twitter timeline, all I see are some types of crap. Not all, but most. Way far from before I started it. No longer that active coz I decided to focus more on blogging and meeting good and trustworthy friends. Just like the old times.

This 3rd year should be my rebound year. Bouncing back from where I left last 2011 and have a clear mindset of what to expect. No more chummy bullshits.

Or perhaps, throw and clean some trash out of my closet. Eradicate all that triggers. I think that’s the best way.

This blog will not be that long as most of the topics were discussed or will be discussed. I’ll keep you posted.

My third year statistics:

CD4 count – 710 units
Viral load – 80++ units, I can’t really recall
All other blood parameters: I think is normal
Mind state: sane
Emotional state: still unstable
Physical state: Good, but not for the fucking choosy
Financial state: I dunno, I’m poor

*by the way, what the hell happened to other poz bloggers? Where are you? Hope everything is fine.