Anniversary Blood Work

July is my official anniversary month. July 2010 was the start month of my ARV’s, 5 months after the confirmatory test.

I got out from the office at 6 AM, just in time for RITM-ARG’s cutoff time for CD4 test. I arrived at the newly relocated ARG clinic around 7 in the morning and the queue was already long. I was 18th on the line, there were like around 20 or 30 the most patients in line for test. 

ARG clinic is now located at 3rd floor of the same building. I think they went upstairs to accommodate the growing number of patients which was like being in a can of sardines when it was located downstairs. The new location is quite spacious, bright and well lit due to overlooking windows, this is great as patients can feel more relaxed. But, the lounge is not that comfy. Dark and heat-intense. I’d suggest they provision some fans along side the sofas and chairs. Nonetheless, it’s good.

By the way, I had a dream where I was falling in line to get my queue in ARG several months back. I think it’s deja vu.

As the line was being processed, I can’t help myself but to observe the patients – this is how I spend time waiting. Saw a few cute guys, there’s one who’s wearing eye glasses (Rudy Project, which adds to his cuteness) chinky and looks neat and clean. Totally my type, too bad, he’s with his partner. I don’t know, but am a magnet of partnered guys.

I was so anxious and wanted to be called as soon as possible as I went on fasting for 10 hours and was totally hungry. I got a bit irritated with the Rad Tech not calling my code. i went to ask her I my number was called and she horrendously scolded at me. I just said sarcastically, “How can I hear you calling me when I’m inside the other room where my blood is being extracted?”. I got inside to have my chest XRAY, she was now nicer and I forgave her.

I took my lunch with someone whom I sat beside with when waiting for the CD4 queue. He’s new and did his first set of tests. He was nice enough, but conversation wasn’t spontaneous so I decided to leave him. I hate awkward moments.

After lunch I went to the new waiting lounge for those who will have their check up. It’s beside the dog bite section, if am not mistaken. I arrived at the time where the guys and this PhilHealth officer are having chit chats and having some question and answer discussion. I most of the guys in the lounge were new. Kept quiet and listening to their open group discussion. Then came this guy, the macho-tattooed-happy-and-gay guy, I should say one of the cute that I saw but just so-so. He’s tattooed, somehow a gym guy… but like a sponge. Happy and gay. You know what I mean. The lounge turned into a mini comedy bar where this tattooed guy starts to make fun of the other guys – of course it was only meant for entertainment purposes. Things went lighter as time passes. I should say, this guy is hot if only he could be a power top – to my disappointment, he’s more than a power bottom. Oh chances.

As the time passes, so as the numbers being called. Others already went home. Around 2PM, my number was called for the check up. Checked my stats and went to the doctor to get me checked. The doctor prescribed Isoniazid, 6 months, for prophylaxis against Tubercolosis. Maybe I won’t do it. 

After the check up, I went back to the lounge to part ways. The tattooed guy asked for number and I went home along with some guys who are along the way. It was a good experience despite the hunger, irritation and lack of sleep.

 

Here are my stats:

CD: 740

Hemoglobin: normal (no longer anemic)

Weight: maintained at 73kg (5’10 height proportion)

PPD: normal, no swelling after couple of hours/days

Sputum test: skipped, I never liked this test. Ever.

Overall: 9/10

 

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Keeping Myself Busy

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When doing something makes you happy… do it often.

I have been quite busy looking for cheap airline tickets, creating itineraries and flying almost every month. And I do it by myself.

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It’s a self gratification. I just wish I can sustain this next year. Fingers crossed for another batch of cheap airline tickets.

Bottle Disposal

Went to RITM last Monday for another refill of my ARV’s. I came at around 10am and was surprised on how many patients waiting for their cd4 results. There are quite a few and my turn was at the 61st queue! Just wow.

Good thing I have given spare PHILHEALTH forms so there was no need to fill out and wait in vain. After a few minutes, my number was called and guided to nurse’s station for ARV prescription. One thing I don’t like with this male nurse is how he approached me while conducting this mini interview… I missed around 4 doses of Combivir last month and he was calculating my adherence score. He asked a stricking question of WHY?… I answered sarcastically, I KNOW, BEEN USING IT FOR 3 YEARS.

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Instead of staying longer inside the clinic and prolly contemplating to argue more.. I decided to relax outside and came to see an old friend. Made some catch up and had lunch together.

I have brought a paper bag for my ARVs. More convenient than bringing big bags. Now the problem is how do I dispose these boxes and bottles…? My mom doesn’t know about my status and it ia kinda hard to just leave these unattended.

Away From Home

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Travelling is an experience one will never tend to lose. Be it with a group or solo. To explore different cultures and immerse oneself with the local civilization is surely a fun thing. Never be afraid to get lost as long as you have the sense of finding your way out.

Will continue this venture to see what this world has to offer.

Travel bug has bit me.

HIV and Suicidal Tendencies

The word *suicide* has been in the local news lately. From jumping of a metro train rail to poisoning oneself using silver cleaner to jumping of from a school building to the classic hanging oneself using a rope.

I don’t know what reasons they have but what I know for sure that they can no longer take whatever burden they are carrying. Most of these victims of pressure were the young adult bracket, when someone inexperienced came over a situation that’s beyond their capacity to comprehend then inner pressure builds up. If these I situations worsen and got piled up.. there’s no easy way of getting out but to end everything.

You can’t also blame one if they are unable to share what they are going through, it’s the dynamics of personality. Not all were raised the same way and at the same instance.

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I thought this year would be a rebound from last year’s. It’s not. I think it got worse.

From personal achievement failures to family related problems, they went on a single blow. This year went on a strike where I wanted to end it. With the these young souls that were lost, I know their life would be more meaningful than what I have. If only souls and life can be traded, I’d volunteer to do it.

As of the moment, I am ready to meet the scythe but I just don’t know how to do it. Sleep and music keeps me away from these thoughts but it’s not a long term solution.

I wish my brain and mind won’t work to much for me just to think blank.

To those who ended it, I wish your souls be at peace. To those who are waiting and wanted to end it, may our minds be blessed with light and wisdom.